If I was ever GOD FORBID dying of a terminally-ill disease, these are the party snacks I'd go to hell with during the final countdown.

#1 Mallomars. This treat consists of a white cake-like cookie topped with a semi-melted marshmallow which is covered completely in chocolate. Inside each box the mallomars are grouped in neat stacks of threes, allowing you to grasp the trio of cookielicious snacks and eat them in one of three different ways:

A. you can bite the marshmallow off first, then eat the cookie;

B. you can bite into it like a normal human being; or

C. you can eat the cookie first, then eat the marshmallow.

BEHIND THE SCENES: Did you know that Mallomars are only sold in cold climate locations and are not available during the summer season? It's true! The reason for this is that these morsels of heaven already melt in your mouth - AND in your hands - and simply should not be eaten in tropical climates.

#2 Blueberry Poptarts. Blue food has always ranked #1 among kids 2-14. In fact, blue food is usually described by color, not flavor (as almost nothing is naturally blue). There were blue ice pops, blue gum, but most importantly there were blue poptarts which claimed to taste like blueberries (but I'll be the judge of that!).

BEHIND THE SCENES: I have a number of food allergies which I pretend not to have so I can continue to eat the food I love. This particular snack makes my eyes burn. Doesn't matter, though. I keep eating them anyway. I've got two rules with these poptarts:

1. It must be toasted, not microwaved, not boiled and certainly not raw; and

2. It's important to remove the crusts surrounding the plum-colored insides to maximize your tasting pleasures.

SIDEBAR: Another snack I love to eat (but makes my eyes burn) is Oodles of Noodles. My frequent visits to Linda Sherrier's house opened my eyes to such delicacies as Oodles of Noodles, Spaghetti-Os and McDonald's.

#3 Wise Potato Chips: Of all the salty, greasy chips to choose from, this one is true blue. I would never go for the BBQ or Sour Cream & Onion flavors. It's either original, or if you're craving extra salt in your diet, I suggest the salt & vinegar.

BEHIND THE SCENES: Do you remember the comic strips and jokes that used to appear on the back of these tiffany-blue chip bags? They all contained puns on owls and the word "wise." Owl betcha werenÍt wise to that, homeboy!

#4 Doritos: I cannot lick these toasted corn treats hard enough to get all the chemicals and salt off of them. The toss up is between Original flavor and Cool Ranch. I tried the Pizza Hut flavor once and was not bowled over. However, there is a new flavor which features regular flavor - the chemicals are powerful enough to give you the equivalent of a head freeze commonly associated with excessive Slurpee consumption.

An added bonus: it's not uncommon to turn the bag inside out and swab the corners to get last licks.

#5 Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Crackers (Pizza-flavored):One of the first snack foods to ever venture past just the cheese to include the rest of the goods. I once brought this snack to school to represent Italy at the International Food Tasting Day. Needless to say, Stephan Schwartz put me to shame with his mother's Swedish Meatballs (actually from Sweden).

SIDE BAR: Swedish Fish are better than both.

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